You're just never going to solve inside issues with outside stuff. It's just, more, you go, "Oh, if you don't have it here, you're never going to have it." If your parents aren't proud of you naturally just for who you are, no amount of success is going to give it to you, because it wasn't something you should have had to earn in the first place. So I don't know if there was a moment where it all turned to ash in my mouth. You understand why, from an evolutionary standpoint, that moves the species forward, but at the individual level it can't possibly be good for one's mental health. You tell yourself this is what success is, and the goalposts constantly move. Then before I'd even framed the bestselling thing, I had the proposal out for the next one. But before that book was even out, it had to be a bestselling book. You think that'd be it, right? I fucking did it. I wanted to be a writer, which meant having a published book. We get to the finish line, only to think, 'This is it, now what?'" I'm curious when you had that realization. In the book, you write, "Most people never learn that their accomplishments ultimately fail to fully provide the relief and happiness we tell ourselves they will. The more you compare yourself to other people, the less you are looking intrinsically at the value of your own work and your own life. Teddy Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the thief of joy," and he's very right. Where do you find solace when you start wandering down that what-if path? I think you want to not look at what other people are doing as much as possible. Rogers from stoic thinkers like Seneca and… Tiger Woods. He draws lessons from Anne Frank and Alcoholics Anonymous from Winston Churchill and Mr. It involves slowing down, sure, but it’s also about finding confidence (not to be confused with ego, he cautions), building better routines, knowing when (and how) to say no, and, mercifully, sleeping. Holiday’s stillness, though, is not just about sitting your way to personal serenity. “If you have all the money in the world, all the power in the world, but you are frantic, at the mercy of your own thoughts, what's the point?” “To me, stillness is what makes life worth living,” Holiday says during our conversation. Now he's out with another book, Stillness is the Key, this time tackling the tranquility trend taking over wellness (as self-care evangelists everywhere run away from the frenzied panic of burnout and towards the inner calm of meditation). He also managed to launch himself into self-betterment stardom in the process. With the books Ego is the Enemy and The Obstacle is the Way, Ryan Holiday showcased an ability to stitch together historical anecdotes and classic wisdom into useful tips on how to better organize our inner lives.
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